"If you don't see the real me, you won't see what love has won..." Vota

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Avoiding sadness

Sadness looms in our house this morning. I have found Elvis looking around the house like he was lost or lost something, Ollie is fighting tears at every pause in action, The Turkey is fairly unaware, and I went outside with Elvis and as we came in I stepped on the welcome mat that said "security by Peanut" with his little face on it, and about lost it. I am trying to help Ollie to learn how to grieve. I think the biggest thing is she doesn't know what she is supposed to do or how to react to the change.

I don't know how to feel about having him put to sleep. The vet said it was the kindest thing I could have done for him. He had been really struggling to breathe for about 20 minutes before my neighbor took us to the vet. By the time we got there he was bluish. She put him on oxygen and he was much more comfortable, but his heart was so bad, he may have not even made it through the night in the care of the emergency vet, with high doses of heart meds and sleeping in an oxygen bed. I for one couldn't afford that to buy him maybe a few days. He would have been all alone too. He would have hated it. So I held his little head while the Dr. gave him and overdose of anesthetic and just let him go to sleep until his heart stopped. It took about a minute. It was horrible to think I caused his death.

We got Peanut while we were only dating. My friend gave him to me at 3 weeks old and my dad wouldn't let me keep him, so Hubby let me keep him at his house. He had to be fed puppy mush, because he was so little (only 6 or 8 ounces). His mama couldn't nurse him because she had gotten really sick. So I was his mama. We had him for 11 years. He was the best little chihuahua.

2 comments:

  1. i understand. i made the same choice two years ago when molly's back legs just didn't work anymore. it's hard for us to see how something that seems like ultimate cruelty is really ultimate kindness. something to think about is that how is it kindness to torture an innocent animal that we love by prolonging a life that they can no longer live? the pets that love us so much wouldn't wish that on us were our situatons reversed.

    tell ollie that i's okay to be sad, and that it's also okay to feel good. i know you're there with hugs whenever she needs them. don't be afraid to cry in front of your kids. tell them you're sad. that you miss peanut. and that you're happy that he had a long, good life as your friend. tell them that after a while you and they won't feel as sad, and will feel happy remembering what a good dog he was. tell them that Jesus knows how sad you all are, and is sad with you because he loves us so much. pray with them and invite them to tell himt. how they feel and ask him to take good care of peanut in heaven. kids are resilient, it'll be okay after a while,

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  2. Sorry about the lost. It's bad, losing a pet.

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