"If you don't see the real me, you won't see what love has won..." Vota

Friday, June 5, 2009

Auto pilot.

I have just figured out something. You know that feeling where your driving a car and all of a sudden you are aware that you've just lost several minutes... you know, when you can't remember actually paying attention to the road...where you are in some place other than in the car. OK, so I hope you know... I sound like a NUT. Well the people who know me know it is true. Anyhow, I have realized that this occurs in my life more than just when I drive. I seem to live my life on autopilot. I live by assumptions and rarely ever focus on details. I don't notice many things. Often when I do notice something "new" or "different", I am only laughed at because it is NOT. OK, so what does this have to do with anything important? Well it is actually causing some problems in my... well in everything. For example at work 2 weeks ago I was filling in for the baker who was on vacation. I would go hunting for ingredients with a preconceived notion as to what the ingredients would be packaged in. To my embarrassment, when I bothered others to ask for help, I had overlooked it multiple times looking for some other type of package. I can't say how many times I have had these same preconceived notions about people. I have been considered naive or in some cases just plain dumb. I don't think I am really either one. For example, yesterday I was reading my friends blog and I jumped to some conclusions about a person who commented on the blog. The conclusions were way wrong. I was assuming many things and on top of my own pedestal all I could see was about an inch past my nose. In doing this I had a completely ridiculous response...well meant, but totally off. I looked pretty dumb. I found out after my husband came in and read the whole interaction and explained to me what I had agreed with and what I had said. What I said was good, but it didn't exactly get expressed right. I find myself wondering if this is a feminine trait... thinking with your heart...basically? If it is, then I can finally understand what Paul meant when he said...1 Corinthians 14:34-35 As in all the congregations of the saints, 34women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. 35If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church. How many times have I disgraced myself and my faith by jumping into a conversation without complete thought and knowledge. Only to get a feeling and express it! (My husband is such a rock...) This time it was pretty bad. Even after someone else (the blogger) tried to clarify what was going on... I didn't get it until Hubby explained it to me. I wound up in the end calling Christians misguided and agreeing with an atheist who said we were mentally ill... YIKES... Who would have thought (not me) that an atheist would be reading a Preachers blog on Christianity today. So that was my assumption and the feelings were strong feelings against what the preacher had posted about. Anyhow... Lord remove the size 8 foot from my mouth. Please prevent me from reinserting it. I am beginning to get... no have become a pro "foot sucker". Lord, also, show me what this trait is good for. I know you created me this way for a purpose. Help me to use it to your glory and not shame.

1 comment:

  1. You are too hard on yourself. I loved your comments on my blog, and even if you didn't get the atheist's whole drift the first time, you made some good points - nothing foolish at all! Blog on!


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