"If you don't see the real me, you won't see what love has won..." Vota

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

My offer of incense

I am really fighting back the tears today... tonight. I have been dealing with the insurance company-- actually the company who investigates accidents and whether or not the insurance company should pay or not in regards to The Turkey's run in with the dog/chair/whatever it actually was. They are really wanting us to file it under my uncle's insurance which I refuse to do. It is a matter of them not wanting to pay and wanting to bring lawsuit against my uncle's insurance. OK, so this will happen over my dead body, loss of house... I don't care how much it ends up costing. I am really fighting angry and fearful tears right now. God promises not to give me more than I can bare and leads me from the temptation to be afraid. I am praying now for this. Lead me from temptation.

On top of all this we got a call from the mortgage collections today. This freaked me out. I pay half the bill every 2 weeks plus a couple extra dollars just to keep things even, but apparently after 4 months of this, they tell (not me because they can not legally talk to me) Hubby that they do not accept partial payments. Now I am left to wonder how we are going to pay the full payment in 2 weeks. It also will take an entire paycheck now to pay the mortgage. Lord give me peace with this and cool my blood. I am so angry because they told us when we refinanced that they would set up a pay every two weeks schedule but never called us.

Lord, I pray one more time, lead me from temptation. The temptation to sin in anger, the temptation to worry and fear, the temptation to try to fix all of this myself. Lord, You are the only one who knows my heart and my capabilities. You alone can keep me at peace with myself and others. Lord, in the middle of all of this, Ollie asked me a random question. She said, "Mommy, does God win or the devil?" I really needed the jolt to remind me that in my battle where Satan knows just what can tempt me to sin, You will be victorious. You see my tears, you see, hear, and smell my prayers as fragrant incense. I'm offering it up to You this evening. Through the power of Jesus and His intercession for me, I know You receive them and are pleased with them.

After I published this, I remembered something Beth Moore said in Bible study last night. She said that sometimes we look at people who we expect should be blessed (she was talking about Zechariah and Elizabeth being barren) and we wonder why God did that to them. BUT she said that in situations like that, it is often God showing us what He did for them (causing her to conceive through His supernatural provision). Sometimes the blessing isn't something that comes easy to us, but instead in a problem that is impossible for us, He solves it by His power. What a blessing-- to have my problems solved supernaturally by God's power.

8 comments:

  1. Be at peace. Our God is the great provider. He can solve your issues, He wants to, and He will. His timing is perfect and His resources are unlimited. He always answers honor with honor.

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  2. Maybe you can get a part time evening job at Wal Mart to get over the hump. I know how trying it can be to be short or cash. So many people are out of work now and have no money at all. May you find peace.
    Tammy Faye Gossett

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  3. I am considering getting back on the substitute role at the school system. I would be able to sub most weeks two days. In the spring I am going to be keeping a baby for a couple days a week and just maybe his cousin a few months after that is if his dear mama needs me to. My only problem is that Hubby's job is so erradic in scheduling. My current boss is soooooo good about working around a really crazy schedule. I love her! The only trouble with it is that very few people get married in the winter compared to the summer. So fewer jobs. God knows exactly what we need and will provide-- if it happens to be another part time job then I'll praise Him for it, if it is peace with being still and eating pintos then I'll praise Him for that. I'll praise Him if it means we have to struggle because I know that He will not give us more than we can bare. I will praise Him when He provides miraculously like He did last night and tonight!

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  4. What did He miraculously provide??

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  5. Well, we have recieved a couple of gifts of cash. On top of that Hubby has been given some more odd jobs for one of our darling neighbors who refuses to let us help out for nothing, which both of us would prefer. Time and talents are things with which we have both been blessed and with an abundance too I might add. These things I/we want to share with anyone who needs it. We have been given the chanced to do this and help others out, and Oh! it feels so good.

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  6. Maybe we should cut out the vacations for a couple of years and refrain from spending. Sometime we have to cut to the bare bone. Are you embarassed by asking for money after taking a vacation?

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  7. NO! I did not ask for money for one thing and it was an anonymous gift. And for another, We did not have to pay for our trip. We stayed with family, did free things and my family paid for our gas (He always does when we come see him-- despite our objections.) When someone wants to give you a gift, don't rob them of the pleasure. I know personally how awesome it is to be able to give someone a gift of money or whatever, and if this person had been embarrassed and not in grateful tears, or had refused it, I would have not experienced the joy. If you have ever sacrificed and given to someone then I know you know what it feels like. I am humble and this is where God wants me to be.

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  8. Oh, yeah, I might add-- all of our vacations are cheap. We always go and stay with family. This is how we vacationed as kids. We went where there was family. Now we do the same thing. It really is a great way to see family and cuts costs. I totally recommend it. When you think about it, you would be paying for gas anyhow (driving to and from work, church, grocery store...) and when you are with family usually they cook (if not, you would be eating at home if you were not on vacation.) Even though our trips are not extravagant, we have time as a family to make memories for our girls. I do not feel slighted from vacationing like this as a child, so I don't think they will either.

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