"If you don't see the real me, you won't see what love has won..." Vota

Saturday, May 15, 2010

For wives only! (What is posted on my fridge) that is a secret from my husband.

I have this thing with taping important images, scripture, reminders and such on my fridge. Many ladies I know use their bathroom mirror, but I could go days without actually looking at the mirror so my fridge is the best place for me to post important things.

That being said I have this acronym taped on there that I got in taking notes at a ladies retreat at Johnson Bible College. The acronym is ELVIS. The class I got it in was about making your marriage better and the phrase I put on the top of this note card with the acronym is, "What I can control."

You see I think most wives/women want control in their relationships. This is just how we are wired. Being placed submissive to our spouses doesn't mean we are without any control. This acronym is one to remind me of what I can control and in controlling these things my marriage could only get better. So for you wives I'll let you in on my secret for spicing up my marriage. (A secret which I got from the presenter at this specific workshop, not one I created.)

E- Express appreciation. Did you know you can control your gratitude to your spouse? This little act of appreciation will validate all his work and give him a pat on the back. Just think about the effect that the person he loves the best on earth just told him thank you has on his soul.

L- Listen intently. Ever been bored to tears about hearing what happened at work today? Put yourself in his shoes. Would you like him to really hear you when you speak to him about your day? You can control how you listen to your husband. Look him in the eyes and really hear him. You will feel connected to him by just listening.

V- Value differences. If you and your spouse have differences, choose to embrace how different he is than you. Chances are this is one of the things that you noticed first in your relationship and many of us loved these differences at first. You know if you are the serious type and your spouse is a cut up... It was so cute in the beginning and now, well it just gets on your nerves. We can choose to value these differences. Think about how boring your life would be if you married yourself. Not a lot of fun probably.

I- ignite the spark. Go sit on his lap. Need I say more?

S-see the positive and assume the best. You can choose to assume the worst about his intentions or you can assume that he only wants what is best for you and his family. Choose to find the positives in every instance not dwell and NAG on the negatives. If he cleans the kitchen, yet does not clean out the sink or put away the dishes or wipe down the stove or... Choose to see the best part. What he did is one thing you do not have to do and he did it not because he loves to clean (at least most men do not-- I have lived with and worked for men who I bet get great pleasure out of cleaning and organizing), but because he loves you!

So get control over your relationship and spice things up a little.

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